Last night I went out to dinner at Herradura with some friends. We sat down, ordered drinks, and conversation flowed normally until my best friend, fondly Pink Bitch, announced without warning that lately, she felt the urge to drop out of college, marry, and start popping out babies. Pink Bitch long ago mastered the art of bringing conversations to a crashing halt, but this time she outdid herself. The really scary part? I think she was serious, and none of us were surprised. A long-standing joke in our group is that Pink Bitch will marry rich, pop out five or six kids, and spend the rest of her life spending her husband’s money and racking up massive amounts of debt. She recently decided she wanted to move somewhere like Utah or Colorado “where motherhood isn’t looked down upon”. Personally, I don’t look down on motherhood–just marrying rich and having a mess of kids as an excuse to live off the fat of the land.
To add to the disturbing 50s relapse that hit close to home, I got online this morning only to stumble upon a school newspaper article from 2006 once again getting around the web. 19-year-old Lynzee Stauss wrote an article titled “College Really Isn’t Necessary” which did little else than proclaim that boys should go to college, and girls should just stay home, marry rich guys, and “just go and get their nails done and take the kids shopping”. She concedes that girls can go to beauty school if they want, or have a backup plan, but “nothing that is full time and nothing that needs college to succeed”.
This girl seems almost too ignorant to exist. I hate to make assumptions on Lynzee’s upbringing based on one very poorly written article, but what kind of backwoods, gold-digging Beauty School drop-out pushed this crack-baby out of her vag, dropped the little tyke on her head, and let her to walk out into the real world with such skewed perceptions of reality? I really want to conduct a search to find this girl: Stupid Gold-Digging Whore–Where is She Now? For some quality entertainment, I highly recommend reading her full article.
Hoping against hope this epidemic of stupidity was isolated to the 20-mile radius surrounding some nuclear power plant leaking radiation, I continued my surfing after finding Lynzee’s article. However, a mere 5 minutes later, I discovered this little beauty: A millionaire put up a billboard personal ad proclaiming “Have Maid…Have Money…Would Love a Honey!” as a beacon calling all the gold-digging hussies to his door. For the full article, click here. The worst part? He wrote a book under the title “Lucrative Love: The Insider’s Secret to Marrying Millions”. He even has a website, and encourages all women to go for the gold with the little tidbit “Someone’s going to marry them, why can’t it be you?” I think I just threw up in my mouth.
I’m beginning to feel like maybe, just maybe, the idea of a girl getting a college education and getting a career that allows her to support herself is soooo nineties. I mean, it seems like every girl in America just wants to sit back and let their rich husbands buy them stuff. Oh well–I’m banking on them getting cellulite and not having enough education to read the fine print on the prenuptial agreement. =)
What do you think?
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If you’re going to call yourself an aspiring writer and talk shit about “bitches” (you call them beauty school drop-outs, I call them bitches, same thing), you should:
Fix the following errors:
1. “…and none of us was surprised.” That should be “were” not “was”.
2. If the number is under a hundred, spell out the number. (“pop out five or six kids” not “pop out 5 or 6 kids”)
3. 50s should be without an apostrophe.
And no, that Lynzee girl isn’t too ignorant to exist. I went to high school with a few Lynzees.
She exists, along with the whole “marry rich and have kids” philosophy, because there’s this misconception that being a domestic engineer is a life of luxury and privilege when that isn’t really the case. Think of all the women that go to college who become housewives and homemakers, or drop out to become one: they are doing it because it’s easier than growing up and having a life of their own. They go long enough to be considered educated (sometimes) and then never take another step toward adulthood. Graduating college and getting hitched is like what graduating high school and getting hitched used to be, really, ’cause who doesn’t have at least a BA these days?
You can’t call this philosophy backward, either. There are plenty of wealthy, well bred ladies of privilege that’ll get married and pop out the rug rats as soon they graduate, too. It’s just a matter of what they consider priorities – doing something productive for the world or being selfish and popping out a copy of themselves.
(hey, didn’t one of the Bush twins graduate college and get married right afterward?)
…and there are plenty of college educated (sometimes) men who’re just looking for a wife to take care of him and the kids and find someone like that while they’re in college. It’s a dependent system, and the blame can’t solely rest on the wife’s head.
—
And no, I’m not knocking getting married or having children; I just think that it’s unhealthy for women to consider going to college as their only career because they find someone at school and think of a college diploma as a first cousin to an engagement ring.
Thanks for the tips Heidi–I could use a grammar expert like you on my team. I’m glad you noticed I’m an “aspiring” writer and that I do not claim to have achieved pro status. And yes, I do love to “talk shit about ‘bitches’”. This site is called Mock of Shame, and I’m glad it gives everyone a forum to voice their opinion about said bitches.
Ladies, these days, unless you are polite and can go more than 5 minutes without cussing, you are going to be dumped on your asses. Might as well, marry a good man and at least give the good life a chance. I think lots of women just give up on the good life and go straight to college. Yeah, have fun working 40 – 60 hrs a week. I don’t think women have a clue what they are doing. Ladies, you’re better off sending yourself to etiquette and manners school than a 4 yr university because if someone can’t stand to be around you, you’re going to have a tough time in life.
“Gentlemen, these days, unless you are polite and can go more than 5 minutes without cussing, you are going to be dumped on your asses. Might as well, marry a good woman and at least give the good life a chance. I think lots of men just give up on the good life and go straight to college. Yeah, have fun working 40 – 60 hrs a week. I don’t think men have a clue what they are doing. Gentlemen, you’re better off sending yourself to etiquette and manners school than a 4 yr university because if someone can’t stand to be around you, you’re going to have a tough time in life.”
That’s a little better.
I like your site, Tara – great commentary! Keep up the good work. I agree with you – “the good life” for me is having control over my own life, not marrying off/selling myself as a high-priced maid/housepet/masturbatory sheath. That said, I have the best husband in the world, we both work hard, and we both love to cuss.
However, a friend recently pointed out to me that marrying off/selling oneself as a high-priced maid/housepet/masturbatory sheath is a lifestyle choice that women are free to make. Like you, I am seriously repulsed by that choice – and it would never be mine – but why waste our energy on hating these women? Certainly, these relationships are consensual. Is it our business to regulate the consensual activites of adults? No. So why does this bother us so much? Perhaps because these women’s choices seem to regress our gender to the days in which women truly had very little control over our lives? Maybe.
Thanks for the kind words! And good point–a lifestyle is a personal choice for each woman, I just happen to want a little independence for myself. I respect mothers and “domestic engineers” as one reader corrected, but I have no respect for women who marry rich guys and pop out kids just to avoid working a job. My mom–God rest her soul–worked a full-time job, took care of me as a single parent, kept our home spotless, and was totally kickass. I hope to be a mother, wife, and have a career one day.
How does anyone get to be college age and still believe that marriage and “five or six” kids (!) is an escape from responsibility? Because you don’t collect a paycheck for raising them? Taking on the biggest responsibility there is makes you not an adult? Only someone very young could believe that. Raising chidren, one or twenty of them, is rewarding, demanding, full time and frequently overwhelming, with or without a career/paid job/rich husband, as is marriage and as is work. Having been both a stay-at-home (because the day care was too expensive) and working mom, I can testify that both are so not a life of luxury.
If you want a life semi-devoid of responsibility, live off your parents forever, be a trophy wife if you can, sans children, but spare us all the nonsense about the other side having it easy while you slave at a job. Too many people in this day and age believe 50’s entertainment actually reflected real life.
Here’s one for you. Most men don’t really want to take care of someone on 24-7 basis even if they’re up to the task, which is rare. The stuff about having a man take care of you while you stay home and shop and breed is propoganda by men who don’t have the slightest notion about taking care of home and children, which is why you get stuck with most of it even if you work full time. Ladies, move forward, not backward.
Oh I think you’re totally right–having 5 or 6 kids isn’t an escape from responsibility…if the mother is actually the one taking care of them. I said I didn’t resepect the lifestyle of “just marrying rich and having a mess of kids as an excuse to live off the fat of the land.” Lydzee wasn’t referring to a life of cleaning house, making school lunches, doing the laundry, and taking on the full time job of raising her children…she talked about going to get her nails done and taking the kids shopping. I don’t think slaving over a hot stove was in her job description, nor do I think her idea of a mother’s responsibilities included putting in all the work of taking care of her children. I don’t speak for Lynzee specifically because I don’t imagine she’d thought that far ahead, but many of these women I was referring to would much rather hire out a nanny than actually put in the work of raising their kids.
Hi guys,
I know this might be a bit off topic but seeing that a bunch of you own websites, where would the best place be to host. Someone recommended I use Blue Host for $6.95 a month which seems like a great deal. Anyone here on mockofshame.com using them?
Paydaynuabugh,
Here at mockofshame.com, I strictly use Just Host because I got a great deal and they support Wordpress blogs.
hey all
I figured it would be a good idea to introduce myself to everyone!
Can’t wait to get to know you all better!
-Marshall
Thanks again!